The Perfect Pastor
1. After hundreds of years the perfect pastor’s been found. He is the church elder who’ll please everyone.
2. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down.
3. He condemns sin, but never steps on anybody’s toes.
4. He works from 8 in the morning to 10 at night, doing everything from preaching sermons to sweeping.
5. He makes $400 per week, gives $100 a week to the church, drives a late model car, buys lots of books, wears fine clothes, and has a nice family.
6. He always stands ready to contribute to every other good cause, too, and to help panhandlers who drop by the church on their way to somewhere.
7. He is 36 years old, and has been preaching 40 years.
8. He is tall on the short side, heavy-set in a thin sort of way, and handsome.
9. He has eyes of blue or brown, (to fit the occasion) and wears his hair parted in the middle - left side, dark and straight, right side, brown and wavy.
10. He has a burning desire to work with the youth, and spends all his time with the senior citizens.
11. He smiles all the time while keeping a straight face, because he has a keen sense of humor that finds him seriously dedicated.
12. He makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all his time evangelizing non-members, and is always found in his study if he is needed.
Unfortunately he burnt himself out and died at the age of 32.