Appendix 1: Sample Counseling First Session

Pre-session:

If the counselor prefers, the couple will fill out the relationship questionnaire before the first session (see Appendix 2).

Counselor Introduction:

The counselor will share a brief testimony, including his background, his own marriage (if married), his counseling experience, and his hope for this session. Then, the counselor will ask the couple questions to get to know them better.

Questions for the Couple:

(Or, instead of asking questions in the session, the counselor can simply follow up on questions from the relationship questionnaire.)

Please share your individual backgrounds: where you are from, your family background, your education background, and anything else you would like to share.

Please share how you and your fiancé(e) met, how long you’ve known each other, and how you knew you were meant to be together.

Please share your religious experience. Are you a born again believer? Do you have assurance of salvation? What is your involvement in church?

Please share ways you and your fiancé(e) are similar. Share ways you are different. How can these similarities and differences complement your marriage?

How do you get along with your parents? What was their parenting style like? What did you like and dislike about it? What will you take from your parents and add to your marriage?

What are your hopes for going through pre-marital counseling?

Course Overview:

Counselor will share the course overview and expectations. For example:

This pre-marital course will cover eight different foundations of marriage including: God’s plan for marriage, gender roles, finances, communication, raising godly children, etc.

Each week you will:

1. Read the lesson and complete the homework individually. It should take around one to two hours to complete.
2. Discuss the answers to your homework with your mate. After your discussion, you should spend time praying together about your future marriage. Also, think about any questions you might have for me (the counselor). Send me your answers and questions before our session together.
3. Meet with me to discuss your answers and questions. I will share any additional insights and pray with you. This should take no more than an hour. (Or the counselor can respond through email and only meet sparingly if preferred).

Closing:

Any questions? Session 1 “God’s Plan for Marriage” will be your first assignment. Let’s meet next week at this same time. Let’s close in prayer.