5. Putting Up With One Another (Ephesians 4:1-6; Colossians 3:12-17)

November 11, 1979

Introduction¹

There is a well-known poem that clearly depicts the problem we Christians have in putting up with each other. It goes something like this:

To live above, with the saints we love;
Oh, that will be glory!
But to live below, with the saints we know;
Well, that’s another story.

When I was in seminary, I knew a fellow who was certainly wiser than I, and he had the experience of ministering in several churches for quite a few years of his life. He passed on to me a rather sage piece of advice. He was speaking of ministering to people in a particular context in terms of church polity. But he said to me, “Bob, if you’re going to minister to these folks, you’ve got to have skin as thick as rhinoceros hide.” As the years have gone by, I think I have a slight sense of what he was talking about. Among evangelical Christians, many are too thin–skinned and too sensitive to criticism in their ministry. One reason we need to look at the subject of “Putting Up With One Another” is simply for this reason –– we will never really have a ministry to people until we have learned to put up with people. Probably it would be a corollary to say we will not have much of a ministry until people have learned to put up with us as well.

But there is another thing that strikes me about the command in Scripture to put up with one another, and that is that putting up with one another is not a characteristic of our age. As I hear people talking, I often hear it expressed in the negative rather than in the positive. “I wouldn’t put up with that,” they say. Husbands and wives are no longer willing to put up with many of the normal irritations and difficulties of married life, and so they leave their marriages. Women are no longer willing to put up with the difficulties of pregnancy, and so as the sign says, “It’s the woman’s choice – abortion.” They don’t have to put up with pregnancy. In local churches, many Christians have some painful experience, some little blow–up, some little personality clash, and they say to themselves, or other Christians say to them, “I wouldn’t put up with that,” and they move on to the church down the street. There is a lot of that kind of super–sensitivity among Christians, and it makes ministry very difficult. Thus, I have chosen to include in the series on ministry to one another a message on “putting up with one another.” I think it is a vital subject, and one we all need to keep in mind.

Let’s take a look at the definition of “putting up with one another” as we see the expression used in the New Testament. Our Lord Himself gave us the first instance of the use of the Greek word² which is found in Matthew. He has been up on the Mount of Transfiguration with Peter, James, and John. Coming down, He found the other nine disciples frustrated by a situation in which a man had asked them to cast the demon out of his son, and they were not able to do it. When Jesus arrived, the father of the boy besought Him to cast the demon out of his son. But when Jesus responded, I think more to the crowd than to the nine disciples, He said,

Oh, unbelieving and perverted generation, how long shall I be with you, how long shall I put up with you? (Matthew 17:17).

Perhaps we haven’t thought about it much, but a lot of our Lord’s life and ministry probably involved just that –– “putting up with” a lot of things from His disciples and from the crowds.

Then we find these words used in Acts 18 below. This is where Paul has been brought forward, accused of teaching what was contrary to Judaism, which was a religion accepted by the Roman government. Gallio decided that whatever their disagreements, they were disputes within Judaism and not with some religion that was in contrast or in competition with Judaism. From what is known of Gallio, he was not one whose heart was warm toward the Jews. As Paul was about to speak in his defense, Gallio interrupted and said to the Jews,

If it were a matter of wrong or of vicious crime, O Jews, it would be reasonable for me to put up with you; but if there are questions about words and names and your own law, look after it yourselves; . . . (Acts 18:14–15).

Gallio was not willing to put up with those who were trying to press charges against the Apostle Paul. Then in 2 Corinthians 11, we see these words occurring several times. In verse 1, Paul wrote,

I wish that you would bear with me in a little foolishness, but indeed, you are bearing with me (emphasis added).

And then down in verse 4,

For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully (emphasis added).

There was a kind of “bearing with” or “putting up with” that was not really tolerable to Paul, and the Corinthians were practicing that. Then again in verse 19, Paul used the word:

For you being wise, bear with the foolish gladly.

Again, seemingly, this was a kind of “bearing” or “putting up with” that should not have existed. The writer to the Hebrews says to his readers,

Bear with this word of exhortation (Hebrews 13:22).

This is an appeal at the conclusion of the epistle to accept the word which the author had written as coming from God. Paul says in 2 Timothy 4:3 that in the last days there will be a spirit of opposition and that men will not bear to hear the truth of the gospel in its purity. They will have itching ears and will want us to preach what they want to hear. These are some of the senses in which this Greek term is used.

In Ephesians 4, we see Paul speaking with reference to the unity of the body of Christ and the need to preserve that unity in the midst of great diversity in terms of gifts and so on which will follow. But notice verse 2:

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love.

The expression, “showing forbearance,” is again the word “to put up with.”

In Colossians 3, I think we find the key to understanding what it means, “to put up with” other Christians. Paul is writing there again, and he says beginning at verse 12:

And so those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

As I looked at these verses, initially I would have expected Paul to say something like “bearing with one another; that is, forgiving one another.” If it were in this form, then you would understand that forgiving each other is an explanation of bearing with one another, and the two then would be, in a sense, the same concept.

But as I began to look at this, it became clear to me that these are two different concepts. The “and” is saying that these are coordinate ideas –– they are of equal significance, but they are distinct. Let me see if I can show you how those two fit together. Forgiving someone has to do with an offense against you –– this is where someone has done something wrong against you or me. Paul says our response should be one of forgiveness. As our Lord forgave those who were against Him, so we must forgive those who are opposed to us  those who do wrong against us. So forgiveness is only appropriate when something wrong has been done.

As I was watching television with my children recently, this fellow gave what seemed to be an apology. The girl responded, “I accept your apology,” and he said, “That wasn’t an apology.” He was distinguishing between a confession of wrong and what he had said. There has to be guilt, there has to be wrong, in order for forgiveness to be granted. You can’t forgive someone who has not done something wrong to you.

This whole dimension of forgiving one another is related to the wrongs which we as Christians commit against one another. If they haven’t happened to you already, you haven’t been here long. We are going to wrong one another; we are going to say things which hurt; we are going to say things which may not be true of one another. Wrong is going to be committed. I am going to do wrong against you, and I am sure you will do wrong against me. When that happens, there must be forgiveness in order for there to be unity and harmony within the body.

But bearing with one another does not refer to this. Bearing with one another does not refer to our relationship to other Christians when they have wronged us. Bearing with one another has to do with differences between individual Christians. It has to do with personality clashes, differences in perspective, differences in viewpoint about what the problem may be and what the solutions are.

Here is the kind of thing that husbands and wives begin to learn early in their marriage. Bearing with one another has to do with adjustments that have to be made. These are not sins which need to be dealt with; they are differences of perspective. Most often, we men think we are looking at a matter logically, while our wives have a totally different perspective. I did not say wrong. She comes at it from a different point of view. I often say to my wife, “But that’s not the point.” To me, that’s logic; that’s a different perspective, with which you have to learn to live. A man may marry a woman and discover that while he is an outdoorsman, she is a homebody. Where she is an extrovert, he may be an introvert. She is outgoing; he is not.

These are differences; they are not wrongs. They are differences, but they can, and often do, create irritations, as all of us know. Putting up with another has to do with those differences between individuals  not wrongs done by one individual against another, but individual differences within a diverse body of believers. We have personality differences, differences in perspective, differences in personal convictions, and differences in our interpretation of passages of Scripture. We are to deal with one another in the midst of these differences by learning to put up with one another.

“Putting up with” is not the same as toleration. It is not the same as gritting your teeth. That is not good enough. As I understand it, it is a warm acceptance of that person, recognizing our differences and loving them for what they are. I think this is what Paul is talking about when he says that we must put up with one another.

Now let us consider some illustrations of how we can apply this in practical ways. First, let’s consider just what we should put up with. There are some things we should put up with in Scripture, and there are other things we dare not accept.

If we are to put up with differences, then we must put up with differences in personality. Churches have personality. Some churches, for example, are “high church.” Other churches are “low church.” Some like to sit in their seats and sing very solemn songs; worship, to them, is equated with solemnity. Other people love guitars and worship in that way. There are differences of outlook, differences in personality, differences of expressions of worship. All of those must be accepted.

You will find that people tend to congregate with others who think and who worship in a similar way. I do not think that is wrong. But there is still a great breadth of difference in personality and in outlook within a body like ours. There are differences in maturity. Hopefully, a growing church is always bringing in those who are new in the faith. Hopefully, we are serving as obstetricians as well as pediatricians. If this is true, you will find people who have been in the congregation for years, and you will find others who have been Christians for minutes. My friend, Bill McRae, was teaching in the Book of Romans, and at the end of the message, a Christian sitting in her seat turned and said to the young man beside her, “Tell me, how long have you been a Christian?” He thought for a moment and said, “Well, I think about five minutes.” That’s beautiful. But, you see, if that is true, we must learn as Christians to accept those who are not as mature, who are weak in the faith; we must accept them warmly, not just tolerate them or grill them in such a way that they feel they can’t be a part of us until they have reached the level of our maturity.

After Paul had spent a chapter discussing the relationship between the strong and the weak, he wrote,

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves (Romans 15:1).

This instruction has a lot of implications. Does a new Christian have the freedom to feel loved and welcomed, or does he feel that he must somehow come into conformity to all of our standards before he can be a part of our group? That is a part of accepting one another.

There are differences among Christians regarding the interpretation of certain Bible passages that need to be dealt with by putting up with one another. I think this is one of the real problems we have in the church, and perhaps in Dallas in particular. We all love authoritative, dogmatic teaching. At least we think we do, and we want everybody to teach so as to suggest that there is just no other way it could be interpreted than the way we do. This gives a kind of security for the person who doesn’t like to think or read or talk to anybody else. But you see, our convictions and interpretations of Scripture are not inspired, inerrant, or infallible. I have said, for instance, with regard to the second coming of Christ, that there are many things I believe that I would not go to the wall for, nor should I. Yet many churches will divide themselves on this kind of issue.

The problem is that all too often we have not discriminated between biblical principle, personal opinion, preference, or convictions. Paul said that when a man has certain convictions, he ought to keep them to himself and that we ought to welcome those who are weak  not for the purpose of cramming your convictions down their throats, but to help them, support them, and bear them up (cf. Romans 14:1,22). We need to discriminate between biblical interpretation that is fundamental, and biblical interpretation that is important.

You may have read the little booklet, The Tyranny of the Urgent, which deals with the fact that in our day-to-day life, our time is gobbled up by urgencies. But the urgencies aren’t important in the long run. They are just things that demand our attention right on the spot. Our lives are lived putting out fires (urgencies), while the important things go unattended. That is exactly parallel to Christian doctrine. We need to distinguish between truth that is fundamental truth and truth that is important truth. For our church, I mention ecclesiology as an example, because that is one of the doctrines that distinguish us from other churches. Our understanding of the way a church ought to operate is important. I believe we can defend much of it from the Scriptures, and I believe that as a church we ought to practice what we understand to be New Testament church principles. But I also have enough perception of what is going on out there in the rest of the Christian world to know that not everybody believes the way we do things is the way it ought to be done. I am naive enough to believe that those people who have other convictions may be mature, Bible-believing, Christ-loving Christians. We must divide only over fundamental issues, not just important issues (and I am distinguishing those). Fundamental issues are those which divide the Christian from the unbeliever. The deity of Christ is a fundamental issue. The inspiration of Scriptures, in my estimation, is a fundamental issue. The bodily resurrection of Christ from the grave is a fundamental issue. I must draw the line here. I must make distinctions. But issues that are not fundamental are simply important issues.

To use the analogy of the human body as an illustration, every part of my body is important, but some are essential. Cut off my right arm, and I will survive. Remove my appendix, and I will continue to function. But cut out my heart or my lungs, and I will die. Some organs are vital; some are only important.

I may differ with other saints, but I must accept them as those whom God has saved. I have a fundamental unity with them, whether I agree with them on a certain point of theology or not. Unfortunately, Christians aren’t believing and practicing this as we should. These are the areas in which we ought to have the spirit of bearing with one another, or putting up with one another, a warm acceptance of other Christians as children of God with whom we are one in Christ.

What should we not put up with then? There are some things in Scripture we clearly cannot bear. That would be, for example, immorality (1 Corinthians 5). Now Paul is writing to the Corinthians, and he says there was immorality  a man living with his father’s wife. Even the Gentiles considered this conduct to be unacceptable moral behavior. So in verse 2 Paul says,

And you have become arrogant, and have not mourned instead, in order that the one who did this deed might be removed from your midst.

Rather than grieving about this sin and dealing with it decisively, the Corinthians were priding themselves in being broad-minded: “Well, we’re a loving church, and we’re just going to love that brother and love that sister.” But Paul said, “You’ve got to put them out.” This is because Christians cannot put up with open immorality. The name of Jesus Christ is defamed by doing that. So we cannot put up with immorality or open sin.

In Galatians 6:1, the brother who is overtaken in a fault is to be approached by those who are spiritually mature, and his problem is to be addressed and he is to be rebuked for it. If he refuses to submit to the Scriptures, then he must be put under church discipline (cf. Matthew 18:15ff; Luke 17:3). The Scriptures make it clear that we must stand aloof from that brother or that sister until their sin has been dealt with. We are to deal with them as a believer –– as a brother or sister –– but we are to stand apart. Again in
2 Thessalonians 3, Paul talks about those who are unruly and so on. We cannot put up with willful, persistent sin. This, of course, applies to those who name the name of Christ (1 Corinthians 5:9-13).

Then, the Scriptures teach that we cannot bear with those who teach false doctrine. Now I am speaking of error in the areas of fundamental doctrine. This would include those who deny the deity of Christ, those who would disturb other Christians and pull the foundations out from under their faith. In Jude 1:3-4, we are told that we ought to contend earnestly for the faith. This instruction is found in the context of warning about apostates who are teaching that which is fundamental error. We must contend; we must divide over that. In chapters 9-11 of 2 John, again there is a command to stand apart from those who teach heresy. So there are those with whom we cannot put up. We must stand apart, and we must deal decisively. Oftentimes, however, Christians are dividing over incidentals, not fundamentals.

Dozens of books could have been written on church splits. You would be amazed over what Christians have divided. I mean absolute trivia. I would go so far as to say that the bottom line in most church splits is not theological at all; it is personality. It is the failure of Christians to get along with one another. We simply cloak our disagreement in theological jargon. That is a tragedy, and it has divided the church of our Lord Jesus Christ.

How can we bear with one another? The passages in Colossians and Ephesians are especially significant. You will notice this is one of the first things Paul has to say when he gets to the section on putting your position into practice. In Ephesians 4:1, Paul urges Christians to walk worthy of the manner in which we were called. We ought to practice what we profess; we ought to practice our position. The first thing he says after this is we ought to bear with one another. It is not without significance that our Lord said: “by this shall all men know that you are my disciples, that you love one another.”

In Colossians, we find the same thing. Paul speaks of the sanctification process as that of taking off an old garment and putting on a new one. When he comes to the specifics, he says we are to have a heart of compassion and kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, and that we are to put up with, or bear with, one another. It is a natural outgrowth; it is a part of the sanctification process. It is an elementary Christian truth. It is not something we ought to get to by and by. It is something which should characterize us at our initial stages of growth and all along in our Christian maturing process.

Notice that the actions we are to have, the actions of bearing with one another, are based upon Christ-like attitudes. These attitudes, as I understand them, are basically the fruit of the Spirit. If you compare this verse with Galatians 5,³ you will discover that these are basically the attitudes produced by the Spirit of God. It is the mind of Christ in us which enables us to accept other people as they are. It is simply reflecting Jesus Christ to men as we live with one another. I don’t think this is something we are to approach with a “let go and let God” attitude. Rather, we are to apprehend that this truth is given to us in the form of an imperative, and therefore it is something toward which we must strive –– not something on which we must sit. It is an active effort on the part of Christians through the power of the Holy Spirit to get along with one another.

But why is it all that important to put up with one another? As I have thought about the fellow who said you need to have skin like rhinoceros hide, I do not really think this captures the spirit of the New Testament. That conveys thick skin and thick heads and insensitivity, and this is not what the Scriptures urge upon us. Rather, we are to be willing to endure differences and irritations that could be potentially destructive for the maintenance of unity and the proper functioning of the body.

Notice the sequence of events in Colossians 3. First, there are the attitudes. These are the attitudes which bear fruit in the acceptance of one another. The attitudes are compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. The actions then are described in verses 13 and 14 –– bearing with one another, forgiving one another, and ultimately, loving one another. These actions stem out of the godly or Christ-like attitudes. But in all the time I have heard this portion of Scripture taught, I have never heard these verses taught as a contextual unit. I have never looked at verses 12-17 as a paragraph before, and generally when I hear it taught, I hear people start at verse 15 or 16. I have never heard anyone start at verse 12.

You see, the attitudes and actions are interrelated to Christian ministry one to the other. They are absolutely essential to one another. This is the primary concept which has come to mind as I’ve studied the subject of “putting up with” one another. Look at it. We are to have these attitudes of Christ; we are to bear with one another, to forgive one another, and to love one another. Now look at the manifestation, or the fruit, in terms of the church corporate. I understand this passage to be speaking, by and large, to the church as a body. It is a collective gathering of saints, and here is the manifestation of it.

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts (Colossians 3:15).

I do not believe there is one shred of evidence that this text can be used by individual Christians for seeking the will of God, so that when “you have peace about it,” it is the will of God. There is absolutely no basis for such an interpretation. If you think some activity is wrong, believe me, you had better not do it (Romans 14:22-23). But just because you feel it is right is not necessarily sufficient data. What Paul is talking about here is the peace of Christ which rules in the church, which maintains unity and harmony.

We know there are various kinds of peace. There is peace with God; there is the peace of God, and so on. But as I understand Paul’s expression here, the peace of Christ is that of which he wrote in Ephesians 2 when he said Jesus Christ is our peace. He has torn down the middle wall of partition which was a barrier between Jew and Gentile. Therefore, the peace of Christ in Colossians 3:15 is the peace that prevails between Christians. Jew or Gentile, one race or another, it doesn’t matter because there is a peace that Jesus Christ has achieved, and that peace is to prevail in the church corporate as it meets together and lives out its bodily life. That is the peace of which Paul is speaking. Collectively, the peace of Christians with one another expresses the unity of the body of Christ. Peace is to prevail; it is to rule in our hearts so as to maintain the Christian unity of which Paul has been speaking in Ephesians 4, “One Lord, one faith, one baptism,” emphasizing the unity of the body of Christ. Unity is also a central theme in Colossians 3:

And beyond all this, put on love which is the perfect bond of unity (Colossians 3:14).

Christian unity is central in this text. The peace of God is to prevail, and there is to be harmony within the body.

Now he says,

Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts of God (Colossians 3:16).

I believe this is speaking of the church assembled. It is speaking of the way the word of Christ dwells or abides in the church. It dwells richly when the saints are full of the Scriptures, and they share them with one another and sing praise to God. More than this, there is a distinct relationship between the word of Christ dwelling richly amongst us and our bearing with one another and our manifesting Christian unity.

Let me see if I can illustrate this on an individual level. Peter says husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way in order that their prayers not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). Have you ever tried to carry on a spiritual conversation with your wife after a big argument? There is something that just divides and distracts, and there is no spiritual harmony when there is disunity. Peter is talking about the husbands understanding their wives by knowing what they are like. I am sure this understanding specifically relates to the differences which men have as opposed to women. All of us ought to read the book, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.⁴ We must live with our wives with understanding so that we might have a unity in our relationship with God. If there is no harmony, then there cannot be harmonious worship and praise.

In Romans 15, Paul wrote,

That with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 15:6).

Paul is not saying we are all to be singing the same notes, but that we are to be in harmony with one another. Do you see it? There is nothing worse than all of us singing in a different key. There may be those who sing bass and others soprano or baritone. All these different parts are beautiful, as long as we are all in the same key. But if we are not in the same key, it’s misery. You see, a church that is trying to live out its corporate life in disharmony is a tragic reflection of Christian unity. Petty irritations and personality clashes create friction and disharmony between Christians. In such churches, there can be no harmonious worship of God. We are all clashing with one another. I think that is what Paul is talking about.

So there is a decided relationship between bearing with one another, between Christian unity and acceptance of one another, and Christian ministry. I do not believe Christian ministry can truly occur within the body of Christ until there is this mood of acceptance for which Paul calls.

Application

Now let us consider how we might apply this in several specific ways:

1) Apply it in your own life individually.

I do not think you will have an effective ministry, no matter what it is, until you can learn to accept other people. You will find many times that what you do as a service to the Lord may not be received as such. It may not be responded to in exactly the way that you wanted it to. That’s not your problem. But if you wear your feelings on your shirt sleeve, and you allow that to hinder your ministry, you won’t have one. You can’t minister effectively if you’re always touchy and irritated by the way other people respond. Your attitude should be to minister as unto the Lord. You may minister to somebody in a financial way, and they may go out and blow that money in a way you think is incredible. That’s not your problem. That’s between them and the Lord, but you may let that hinder your ministry. You must accept other people for what they are and where they are in their spiritual life.

There is a tremendous application in this passage for Christian marriage. One of the tragedies of our time is that people go into marriage today without any commitment. We can see that in their vows. Today’s vows, if they exist at all, aren’t a pledge to be faithful to one another regardless of what happens, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, but only for better. There must be a fundamental commitment to unity if there is to be harmony. Christian marriages need a commitment to a purpose, a commitment to unity and a commitment to put up with one another, as well as to forgive one another. Those of us who are married need to reaffirm our commitment to unity, acceptance, and forgiveness.

2) Let me relate this to the meeting of the church.

One of the things we have striven for as a church is to have a family atmosphere in the worship hour. We have striven for an atmosphere where people feel free, not where people are sitting there looking for theological error, and seminary students have their Hebrew texts out shaking their heads and saying, “Oh, no!” Somebody may get up and say something really unusual or distressing. Maybe they have just been saved. What do you expect them to say? But some may want a theologically-polished masterpiece, homiletically perfect. It may not be. But the very fact that a person has mustered the courage to participate should be encouraging to all of us.

When I first began to attend Believers Chapel years ago, I remember the elders repeatedly stressing the fact that where there was fire there would also be smoke. What they meant was that those who were immature or inexperienced in publicly sharing with others would be expected to make some blunders. But the people there rejoiced that men were struggling to develop their gifts by publicly sharing with the entire congregation. I hope this sense of expectation and excitement will never leave us. Such a spirit of acceptance will greatly encourage others as they seek to minister to the saints.

3) This matter of accepting one another goes beyond our own circle of close friends and our own church congregation.

It relates to the church of Jesus Christ at large. It is often difficult for those of us who are committed to the way we do things in “our” church to believe that God is just as much at work in the other evangelical, Bible‑teaching churches in our city and throughout the world. So often churches view other churches as competitors rather than compliments in the work of Christ. We cannot minister to all people nor can we minister to every type of Christian. Hopefully, we are following the Scriptures as closely as possible, but even within the context of Biblical principles, there is room for diversity in philosophy and approach to ministry. Over and over the Scriptures tell us that unity is best expressed in diversity, not in uniformity. While we may have come to accept this truth as it relates to individuals in the body of Christ, we must also see its application to various churches which are a part of the universal body of Christ. It is my prayer that we, as a church, will accept other Christians, other churches, other organizations which name the name of Christ, and not only tolerate them, but strive to enhance their ministries by prayer, encouragement, and even financial involvement.

May God enable us to accept one another, to His glory, and to our good.

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¹ This is the edited manuscript of a message delivered by Robert L. Deffinbaugh, teacher and elder at Community Bible Chapel, on November 11, 1979. Anyone is at liberty to use this edited manuscript for educational purposes only, with or without credit. The Chapel believes the material presented herein to be true to the teaching of Scripture, and desires to further, not restrict, its potential use as an aid in the study of God’s Word. The publication of this material is a grace ministry of Community Bible Chapel. Copyright 1979 by Community Bible Chapel, 418 E. Main Street, Richardson, TX 75081.

² The most common Greek word used is anechomai. Other words also contribute to this concept of “putting up with” one another.

³The attitudes included in Colossians 3:12 are: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. The fruit of the Spirit of Galatians 5:22 and 23 is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self‑ control.

⁴ Dr. James Dobson, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House Publisher, Inc. 1975).